Shared Novel Hobbies Strengthen Couple Bonds
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Shared Novel Hobbies Strengthen Couple Bonds
- Psychologists suggest that couples who engage in new, unfamiliar activities together report higher relationship satisfaction.
- This phenomenon is explained by the self-expansion model, developed by psychologist Arthur Aron, and detailed in a 2022 review.
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Research indicates that the most beneficial shared hobby for couples is often one that neither partner has attempted before. This is not about finding a mutual passion, but rather about both individuals being beginners simultaneously. The novelty of the experience is key, as it can mimic the invigorating feelings of the early stages of a relationship.
The self-expansion model posits that individuals seek close relationships to enlarge their sense of self by incorporating new perspectives and experiences from a partner. While this process naturally slows down as a couple becomes more familiar, engaging in novel activities together can reintroduce this sense of expansion, combating dullness that can settle into long-term relationships.
Studies have shown that couples who participate in self-expanding activities report increased sexual desire, which correlates with greater relationship satisfaction. The enjoyment of the activity itself is less significant than the newness of the experience. These shared, unfamiliar activities can be simple, such as trying a new cuisine or exploring an unfamiliar part of town. Being new to an activity together can also foster a sense of humor and allow partners to see each other in a different light, breaking established mental models.
While novelty is beneficial, routine and familiar time together also contribute to daily satisfaction, and the optimal balance can vary depending on individual personality traits. Psychologist Mark Travers, who writes about relationships and everyday psychology, has highlighted these findings.